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Fanfic: Comrade

PostPosted: Thu Nov 08, 2007 8:48 pm
by Blaster_6267
I was bored so I wrote a fanfic with one of my Heavy Metal War characters. Yes, I realize large plot holes, but meh, like i said. I was bored. So here you go, comments and criticism welcome.

Easier to read DA version



Bullets whipped by his head, he could hear the sound of them ricocheting off the wall behind him. He ducked for cover as a rocket flew overhead. “Damnit! Now would be a really good time for our backup!” Waste Land screamed over the noise and confusion. “How much longer?!”
“Hang on, I’m patching through,” replied Radio Head. “You know how hard it is with all this interference?”
“You know how much of us will be left to rescue if you don’t hurry up!” Waste Land snapped back, as he threw a grenade. A massive explosion was heard and everyone felt the aftershock. The gunfire ceased, and the few Autobots got to their feet. Radio Head brushed off his shoulders, and Waste Land stood up checking his weapons. There was a small rumbling behind them, and Waste land pointed his rifle at it.
“Put that thing away before you poke someone’s optic out!” barked Nitro. The red pick-up truck pulled himself out of the debris.
“Oh, stop your whining, you’re alive…” Waste land commented.
“ No thanks to you, do you even know what you threw into that mess?”
“Of course, GL-17 concussion grenade, strong enough to blow up the most annoying Decepticons,” Waste Land replied.
“I hate to interrupt this little infantry lesson,” snapped Radio Head, “but I made contact, and we got an extraction point. They’re coming for us in about a cycle.”
“Then what are we standing around for, let’s get the heck outta here.” And with that, waste land transformed into his missile tank mode and chugged away.
“I swear, if that bot don’t get some sense and slow down, he’s gonna get one of us killed. Whatever, come on Radio Head, hop in.” Nitro transformed into pickup mode and Radio Head hopped in as he sped after Waste Land.

The trio finally ended up near the extraction point. However, it wasn’t going to be as easy as anticipated. The place was crawling with Decepticons, at least 15 of them. “Well, this is interesting,” commented Waste Land.
“Nah, this will be fun,” replied Nitro.
“Both of you, hush up, I got an incoming transmission,” piped up Radio Head. The communications expert turned back into audio mode. He stayed motionless for a moment as lights flashed on his display panel, then his playback button clicked…
“URGANT! EXTRACTION COMPRAMISSED. NEED COVER FOR RECOVERY. ETA 2 DECA-CYCLES. GOOD LUCK!”
“Ok, I’ll agree,” said Nitro breaking the silence, “It just got interesting.”
“Right, so here’s the plan. Radio Head, lookout. Let us know as soon as the extraction ship is within range. When it is, signal us, and Nitro and myself, will create the diversion. Hopefully the ship can get close enough for a fly-by.”
“Are you insane?!” asked Nitro.
“Just enough to make me a damn good solider, and your best friend,” replied Waste Land. Nitro just shook his head and checked his equipment, waiting for the ship to arrive. A few moments later, Radio Head signaled the comrades, and they looked at one another. “Hit them hard, hit them often,” said Waste land as he held out his hand. Nitro took it and replied, “Till we can’t function no more.” And with that the two ran out from behind their cover, and opened a spray of bullets into the enemy group. Waste land and Nitro were able to eliminate 2 of them before the rest noticed, took cover and fired back. Sadly, the extraction point was a clearing, so not much cover was available. Waste Land was emptying clips of ammo at the enemies’ position, trying to pin them down. Nitro was trying to pick off any that dared poke their head’s out of cover to shoot. The ship was very close now, approaching low and fast. Radio Head made the first jump and landed inside. The ship was a mere hundred feet from Waste Land and Nitro. They timed their jumps and went airborne, trying to land inside. Nitro made it, but Waste Land fell short, and hit the ground hard. The remaining Decepticons came out from hiding when they realized the shooting had stopped, and proceeded to open fire on the helpless Waste Land on the ground.
“NO!” screamed Nitro. “Turn this thing around now!”
“But that’s suicide, we’ll be killed!” replied the pilot.
“It’s worth it, now do it!” Nitro barked. The shipped spun hard knocking Radio head and Nitro to the deck, but they regained they’re footing. “Get us down there, wait 5 nano-clicks, the bolt off. We gotta get Waste Land.” However, Waste Land wasn’t doing so well. He was being pelted by Decepticon fire, and his armor was depleted. His systems were in critical areas, and in risk of shutting down. As the ship touched down, Radio Head unleashed a flurry of laser fire into the Decepticons. Nitro jumped out and grabbed Waste Land and dragged him on the ship, as he was getting back in, the ship bolted upwards. Nitro lost his footing, and fell down.
“Oh ****, turn around,” screamed Radio Head.
“No way, we barely got out of that one; if we try again we’re all fried. We’re outta here!” replied the pilot. Waste Land looked back at Nitro as he flew off, and saw him all to the ground. He felt numb; he was drifting into stasis lock.
“Hey, I got a message,” said Radio Head startled. He transformed and hit playback. “WASTE LAND…IF YOU GET THIS…IM SORRY…BUT COMRADES COME FIRST...FAIRWELL MY FRIEND….” As he heard those last words, his systems finally gave out and he went into stasis lock, just as a drop of lubricant leaked from his optics.

The door to Waste Land’s room opened, and Stunts walked in…Waste Land was sitting at his desk, looking at something. “You ok big guy?” Stunts asked.
“Huh? Yea, what’s up?” he replied.
“Debriefing was called 5 minutes ago, and you didn’t show. Was wondering where you were. Come on.” Waste Land got up and walked with Stunts down the corridor of Renegade headquarters. “So what were you doing anyways?” asked Stunts.
“Oh, just thinking about a bot I once knew. He’s a good guy, saved me once.”
“Yea? Sweet, I wanna see this guy.”
“Yea, so do I little buddy. So do I.”


Enjoy

Re: Fanfic: Comrade

PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 5:17 pm
by Sun Blaster
Aww, that's so sad.It's a shame that Nitro obviosly didn't make it. :sad: :sad: :sad:

Re: Fanfic: Comrade

PostPosted: Wed Feb 28, 2024 5:20 am
by snavej
Use 'their' for a possessive, not 'they're'.

Use 'I'm' for 'I am', not Im.

'Waste Land' should be capitalised every time. No 'Waste land'.

'The ship spun hard...', not 'The shipped spun hard...'.

'FAREWELL...', not 'FAIRWELL...'.

So, in general, check spelling and grammar.

'Radio Head': formerly known as 'Emotron' :lol: . I would recommend a different name.

Basically, a typical tragic war story.

Re: Fanfic: Comrade

PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2024 4:05 am
by defthorseman
It's a shame Nitro wasn't a success. :-(
flappy bird